A Pause to Genuflect

Vamplets

Awww, how cute! I want one!

You can check them out for yourself at their website here.

Italian embanned commercialem featuring Freddy Krueger

This is too funny. Check out how Freddy Krueger eats snack foods.

Monday Movie Review - ZOMBIES OF MASS DESTRUCTION

"A Political Zomedy"

This movie is another one of the films selected for the After Dark Horrorfest IV, and although it tries to stay very tongue-in-cheek, I was undecided whether to take it wholly serious, or wholly for fun.

First off, the film is riddled with Iranian/Iraqi and gay jokes.  Maybe that's the "in" thing right now, but I was wondering how viewers would see it ten years or so down the road.

The film is one of those "the military is doing illegal experiments on a little town without the inhabitants knowing about it."  I'm sorry, but that scenario is quickly growing stale.  The town itself is a real place up in Washington state, and it's a beautiful little Norman Rockwell village. 

The blood effects are super cool, I must admit.  The acting is tolerable.  But instead of watching it play out with baited breath, I found myself leafing through the latest Fangoria magazine while it continued on in the background.

If you want to see a terrific "zomedy", go rent ZOMBIELAND or SHAWN OF THE DEAD.  As for this movie, my recommendation is to

E I E I O is Now Available on OmniLit!

If you have an OmniLit or ARe account, you can now get it here.

Thanks!

Everyone Needs a Zombie How-To Manual

Created in conjunction with Romero's movie Survival of the Dead, you can now download the PDF of this hilarious 8-page manual for free right here!

Monday Movie Review - DEADLANDS 2: TRAPPED

You can tell a lot of heart and soul went into this independent feature.  But there were times I wanted to reach into the screen and file down some of the really rough edges.

According to Netflix:  A top-secret U.S. government agency stages a biological weapons exercise in a Maryland town with horrific results:  The toxic gas that's released turns all who breathe it into zombies, who then set about infecting the rest of the town.  Finaly,only six residents are left standing, holed up together in a movie theater preparing to make a last stand against the undead.  Gary Ugarek follows up his earlier gore epic Deadlands: The Rising.

At one point, the government head honcho calls up the hapless kids trapped inside and does the "neener neener" at them.  I wished at that moment for a good strong thunderstorm to backtrack some of that toxic gas to the military officials who were responsible for this atrocity in the first place.

While the special effects are great, and the plot is solid, some of the actors needed a more tempered hand.  One of the main heroes had just one vocal inflection - yelling, and after a while it started to rub on the nerves.  The F-bomb is dropped in nearly every other sentence, and in one case while a heroine is screaming the FU at a bunch of zombies, I got the impression she felt very uncomfortable doing it.  Additionally, the sound quality was touch and go.  I could barely hear what the lap dancer said, but the screaming totally overloaded the microphones.

There are some other noticeable inconsistancies.  Some zombies shuffled and stumbled and moved about like traditional Romero zombies.  Others were so fast on their feet, they should have been Olympic sprinters.  You saw zombies using the stairs (some even glanced down to make sure they didn't trip and fall), but zombies can't climb ladders?

If you've seen MIDNIGHT MOVIE, about teenagers trapped inside a movie theater, then this is pretty much the same flick, but with zombies instead of a serial killer.  But despite its raw, construction paper quality, it's actually not a bad little Saturday afternoon no-brainer.

My recommendation?