Okay, Everybody. Let's Sing Along Together!

"If I only had a brain!"

(Thanks, Pat!)

Monday Movie Review - GROTESQUE

From France I went to Japan, and a movie I've read a lot about but just now got around to watching. GROTESQUE is a torture film, pure and unadulterated.  The movie is so graphic, it's banned in Britain.

It's the story of a young man and woman going out on their very first date.  Except they're interrupted on their way back from the restaurant by a maniac (with surgical skills) who kidnaps them and keeps them locked up some place that's unspecific.

Before he starts torturing them, he explains that if they manage to "excite" him, he will let them go free.  Please note that the torture itself is a conglomerate of sexual and physical violence, including dismemberment, etc.  This movie is not for the squeamish.  The gore is believable, and the very cold attitude from the "doctor" will send chills down your spine.

Again, this movie managed to surprise me in both the way the plot develops and how it ends.  Which is why my recommendation is that you

It Makes a Great Coffee Table, a Conversation Piece, and It'll Remove Unwanted Guests, Too!

The one with the aquarium I think is cute and functional, but the fish vaguely remind me of piranha.  The one with the snakes...I dunno about that one.  Can't find my linkage where I originally saw it, so if you know, drop me a comment.  Thanks!

If "The Corpse Bride" Had Not Been Animated...

If you haven't already seen the animated cartoon by Tim Burton,
and starring Johnny Depp, go catch it.
This real-life photo was found at Soup von necrowxrst.

Monday Movie Review - LA HORDE

It appears that France has become a major exporter of horror films, and I'm thrilled.  They don't recycle old movies.  They don't back down from the intensely graphic scenes.  And they don't cut corners when it comes to originality.

LA HORDE, at first, looks to be another zombie movie.  Well, not quite.  It's about a plague or infection (the movie doesn't make it clear) that suddenly turns the inhabitants of Paris into raving cannibals.  (Hint:  look for the unnerving scene of them beating on the glass doors, and their breaths fog up the cold glass!)

The movie actually starts out in a way you don't expect.  Like, don't expect the stars to be six ex-college friends.  And don't expect the "norms" of American horror films to be present here.  In LA HORDE, a cop is killed by hoodlums.  The cop's friends (also cops) decide upon some vigilante justice.  In the midst of bad guys smoking good guys, and vice versa, the seedy abandoned building where all this is taking place is suddenly overrun with said ghouls.  Reluctantly, the good and bad guys call a temporary truce in order to save their butts from the flesh eaters.

Another thing I liked about this movie is the ending.  If you can surprise me, that's when I give a hearty recommendation to: 

Closeup of a Cat's Tongue

The "ick" factor is enormous.

(Thanks, Possum!)

In Case True Love Doesn't Work...

If you're not already receiving daily laughter from HistoricLOLs.com, now's your chance!