Monster Pens

Aren't these cute?  Found them at Office Depot. 

Nothing like having a little monster or alien to write with.

Monday Movie Review - THE COTTAGE

If you like black comedy like "Shaun of the Dead", but without zombies, this is the movie for you.

What starts out as two guys kidnapping the daughter of their rich boss just for the ransom money goes hilariously wrong, but the entire movie is played very straight and very tongue-in-cheek.  It seems the cottage they take the girl to (who more than once wipes the floor with their asses before she's subdued) is right next door to the abode of a serial killer.  Once the killer finds out they're there, he goes after them.  It becomes the killer after the kidnappers after the vicitm.  Then the victim and kidnappers vs the killer.  Then...  Well, you get the drift.

The acting is fantastic, since I wasn't familiar with any of the actors.  The gore effects are superb.  It's a UK film, so there might be times you'll have to rewind just to double-check what was said. 

But on the whole, this flick makes for super entertainment.  Which is why I whole-heartedly recommend that you: 

Merry Bloody Christmas!

Horror 4 Sale

I was given these two movies.  They're brand new, still in their original package, and never been opened.

Each is $3, which includes postage.

To order, go to my secured website.
****

FACE

A serial killer is burning away the flesh of his victims with acid, leaving only the bones behind. The police turn to Hyun-min, a former forensic sculptor adept in reconstructing faces by examining and interpreting skulls. With the victim's bones in his house, Hyun-min's daughter begins to experience disturbing visions. As he races against time to find the answers and save his daughter, the deadly truth behind these victims reveals a sinister conspiracy that threatens everyone involved.

SILK

Armed with a newly invented material called the Menger Sponge, a paranormal investigative scientist, Hashimoto, and his team investigate a crime scene.  He captures the energy of a ghost: an unidentified 13-year-old boy.  Who is this ghost?  Why does it kill people? As they get closer to solving the riddle of the boy's past, he learns the horrifying truth.  Fearing that the ghost child is dangerous, the team decides to isolate him, but in doing so they unknowingly unleash a mysterious force, a much more powerful and ferocious energy to which the boy somehow seems connected.

 

Monday Movie Review - TRAIN

A group of American college athletes are over in Europe, participating in some games.  The night before they're supposed to head to another country via railway, they go on a bender and end up having to take an alternate train, since they missed their original departure.

What they don't know is that this train has no intention of letting them arrive alive at their destination.  They're young, they're strong, and that means they're perfect victims for a group of crackpot doctors to kidnap, torture, and ultimately use their body parts and organs in a weird donor-transplant scheme.

There is one lone female who survives, and it's through her eyes we see all the carnage inflicted upon the college students. 

Think "Midnight Meat Train" with a female hero.  Think of any mad slasher/serial killer who chops up countless victims, while a single teenage girl manages to elude his clutches, only on a train.

I have to admit, the gore is pretty spectacular, but the biggest problem sticking in my craw was the fact that these people would slice open and extract organs from their still-living victims without any kind of sanitary containment whatsoever.  The walls are grimy, the slabs are caked in dried blood, and the whole place reeks of filth, and we're supposed to believe these organs are being placed in other people, and those people survive?

This movie also has places where it drags, but all in all it would make for an okay viewing on a lazy weekend.  That's why my recommendation is that you:

'Tis the Season To Be Ghastly

You have to give credit to Damnation Press.  Their greeting cards and t-shirts available on CafePress are a hoot!

See their complete line here.

Zombie Safe House

You gotta admit, this concept art and ingenuity is phenomenal!

Found at io9.  Go check out what else they have, and friend them on Facebook!

Monday Movie Review - SLAUGHTER

Once again we have a "based on true events" film.  Good, bad, or indifferent, I was following this along pretty well until it got to the ending.  Or "ending", because this film really doesn't end.  There is no Happy Ever After.  There is no feeling of reaching a satisfactory conclusion whatsoever.  I guess that's why this movie continues to intrigue me.

In brief, Faith is trying to escape a brutal boyfriend by moving to a new city.  At a nightclub, she meets up with Lola, who appears to be in the grip of another heartless boyfriend, and helps her to get the creep off her back. They strike up a friendship, with Lola inviting Faith to her farm (said farm raises and slaughters pigs).

When Faith's boyfriend appears in town, Faith asks Lola if she can move in with her.  Lola agrees, and the two form a fast, almost sister-like friendship.  That is, until Faith finds out about Lola's past when it comes to her family and past boyfriends.  And that's when things start to get UGLY.

This is a movie filled abuse and torture.  It's graphic, but not over the top.  The acting is worthwhile, and I can understand how this film became one of the selections for the After Dark Horrorfest.

My recommendation is that you

One More for the Road from Bent Objects

Seriously, folks.  You have got to follow this guy. His imagination so totally off the wall, think Gary Larson with paper clips.

More Vegetable Nastiness from Bent Objects

Website/Blog
Go follow!

Monday Movie Review - MALEVOLENCE

According to IMDB.com, this story is the 2nd part of a trilogy, which makes me excited for part 1 to show up soon (Entitled "Bereavement", it's in post-production as of this writing.)

Malevolence begins 20 years after the kidnapping of a young boy by a serial killer.  The killer takes the child to the basement of an abandoned slaughter house (which is right next door to the killer's own home - go figure.)  The killer teaches the boy how to be a vicious murderer...and the film jumps forward 20 years.

A quartet of out-of-luck-and-work schmucks try to rob a bank.  One gets shot, and they spread to the four winds to avoid being caught, with plans to meet at "a place out in the middle of nowhere" in order to divvy up the dough.  Umm, bet you'll never guess where this "place" is.  Oh, darn!  You figured it out?

Anyway, a serial killer who appears to live there begins to  stalk them.  Guess who is under the mask!  Gee, good guess!

Will someone explain to me why serial killers go after their victims like they're swimming through waist-deep mud, while the victims are running faster than Olympic sprinters?  And why is it a normal person can get shot, knifed, and clubbed, and DIE, yet it's a mere flesh wound for killers?  It makes you wonder if there's a Michael Myers Survival School for Deranged Killers.

This movie is cliched and predictable.  The acting is so-so, and the gore effects aren't worth mentioning.  However, the premise of part 1, how the original killer turned an innocent young boy into his protege, looks a lot more promising.

In the meantime, when it comes to part 2,

A Different Kind of Magical Mystery Tour

For those of you who have ever tried to imagine the Beatles as zombies, here’s your chance.  A friend sent me this pic, and while I was googling, trying to find who to credit for the lithograph, I came across some really creepy imaginings of the Fab Four.

If you feel like surfing the net, type in “zombie Beatles”.  Then sit back and have fun!

Fairy Tales by Miwa Yanagi

Japanese photographer Miwa Yanagi has come up with some fantastic photos in tribute to her love of American and Japanese fairy tales.  Check out her site here for more (including the "Windswept Women".)

For those of you who don't know, the orignal story of Red Riding Hood by the Brothers Grimm told of the wolf eating both Red and her grandmother.  It was Red's screams that brought the woodcutter to the grandmother's house to investigate.  Upon seeing the wolf lying sleepily on the floor as it tried to digest its meal, the woodcutter chopped off its head, then split open the animal's belly, to reveal Red and her grandmother still alive inside.