Monday Movie Review - & TELLER, & TELLER 2, THE GROWTH

This small company was founded by Teller, of Penn & Teller, the famous magic act playing nightly in Las Vegas.  So far the little production company has put out three small films:  & TELLER, & TELLER2, and THE GROWTH.  There is a fourth, longer feature due out soon, as well an animated claymation-type short featuring cannibalistic hamsters.

I'm not kidding.

Anyway, in a nutshell, & TELLER and & TELLER2 features Teller (natch) sans Penn.  Zombies have hit Las Vegas, and in these 2 shorts (which average 3.5 minutes each), we hear Teller narrate what happened.

THE GROWTH is a slightly longer (8 min.) short about a man who suffers the result of a blind date.

Not real bloody or horrific, but you can't go wrong at this length.  And the best part about these shorts is that they're on YouTube!  Meaning you don't have to rent them.

That being said, GO WATCH!  And then go favorite/friend/follow them!

Zombie Animal Food Chain

I would love to give credit to this pictograph's maker.  If you know it, please share.  Thanks!

App of the Dead

I shelled out the $ for this app for my iPhone simply because of Romero's name on it.

Basically speaking, you take a photo on your phone, then you get to apply zombie applications to turn your friend or relative into one of the nasty looking undead.  THEN you get to use the shotgun tool to literally blast them to pieces.  Imaginary blood splatters your screen as the gunshots reverberate through the speakers.

And then you get to "clear" it or SAVE your retouched photo, and start all over again.

All done for giggles, I'm sure, but in the back of my mind I was wondering what would happen if the police happened to catch a few of your creations on your phone.  O.o

Monday Movie Review - KILL THEORY

The Cons:

-six twenty-somethings stuck at a friend's weekend home out in the middle of nowhere
-no cell phone coverage
-a homicidal maniac let loose from an insane asylum after being declared "cured" AFTER JUST THREE YEARS OF INCARCERATION
-lots of slow, expository scenes of "Why is this happening to us?" and "Who is doing this?", not to mention the frequent, "Oh, my God, we're all gonna die!"

The Pros:

-the six have until 6:00 am to kill each other off, leaving just ONE of them to survive (otherwise, all will die at the hands of the HM -- as opposed to being hunted down by the HM and killed off one at a time
-the last 60 seconds of the movie, revealing a neat twist to the story

Yes, on one hand, this movie has been Dun to Death.  But some very top-notch acting, plus a few other little differences, was enough to keep me engrossed in finding out how it ended.  Being an After Dark Horrorfest selection, I had hoped for something a little more original.  And although it wasn't a total disappointment, I wouldn't count it as being one of the better films.

Still, my recommendation is:

Mmmm...Tastes Like Peanuts!

Go add BENT OBJECTS blog to your feed.  What Terry Border does with everyday objects is amazing.  And sometimes hysterical, such as these zombie peanuts!

Because Even Zombies Need to Get Their Groove On!

Monday Movie Review - IRREVERSIBLE

Normally I detest movies with rape scenes. But this movie's premise, and the way it played out, kept me glued to my seat.  Yes, the rape is depraved and demeaning, but it's because the actors are so damn good.  You don't "see" anything, yet you can't help but feel the disgust.

Irreversible is a revenge film, plain and simple. However, all semblance ends there.  It begins where most films end, telling its story backwards, from finish to beginning, in short segments at a time. 

Briefly speaking, a woman and her two male friends (one an ex-lover, the other her newest lover - and the men are friends themselves) go to a party.  After her new boyfriend makes an ass of himself in public, the woman heads off for home by herself.  Except she gets waylaid by a despicable character and brutally raped, then nearly beaten to death.  The boyfriends discover her being taken away in ambulance, and that's when they go off to find the man responsible and punish him.

The camera angles will push your buttons, so be careful.  Please also note that the director deliberately embedded a low, subliminal drone in the soundtrack at the beginning of the film.  It is meant to make the viewers literally sick to their stomach.  Trust me on this one, people.  You WILL feel nauseous.

This movie bothered me in so many ways, yet I keep thinking back on it.  Which makes my recommendation:

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A Cake You Can Really Sink Your Teeth Into...And With a Chainsaw!

Found this zombie wedding cake over at GEARFUSE. 
While you're over there, scroll down and check out the additional wedding cake topper.

New! ISABELLLA, a Tale of Paranormal Horror

Now Available!


ISABELLLA

A tale of paranormal horror
by Gail Smith
(Linda Mooney w/a)

Four years ago Byron Shales was a manager for a department store. Now he hunts down and captures the newly zombie-fied dead, and resells them at auction to the highest bidder. What his buyers do with them after the sale is finalized is none of his business, and frankly he couldn’t care less.

His beliefs and apathy come to a sickening halt when he elects to keep one young woman for himself, and discovers that all his pre-conceived notions about these non-living creatures have been a lie. In fact, the truth about Rothsburg’s Disease may be more horrifying than the flesh-eating creatures it infects.

http://www.lindamooney.com/Isabellla.htm

And available on Kindle! http://www.amazon.com/Isabellla-ebook/dp/B003YOSC40

*And you can get it at Amazon UK for Kindle, too!

****
EXCERPT:

Taking the snare pole in both hands, he took several steps into the room. Habit made him double-check the corners for signs of another one of those things. A good trapper had to keep an extra pair of eyes in the back of his head if he wanted to live long enough to spend his money.

Glancing back at the girl, Byron saw she had gotten to her feet, but she remained where she was. If he didn’t know any better, he would swear she wasn’t in any hurry to attack him.

"What’s the matter? Why won’t you come over here and take a bite? Huh?" He held out an arm in invitation. "Come on. Here it is. All nice and warm and juicy. Bet you’d love to take a chunk out of it, wouldn’t you? Well, come on!" He gave his arm a little wiggle. "Come one and try."

The creature looked at his arm, then back at him. She took a tentative step toward him. Byron took an identical step backwards.

"That’s right. Come and get it. It’s full of warm blood, and I bet you’re hungry, aren’t you?"

She took a second step, which he echoed in reverse, but her gaze wasn’t on the tempting arm he was baiting her with. She was watching him. As ridiculous as it appeared, it was like she was wary or something. Byron shook his head. No way, man. No fucking way.

He grabbed the snare pole with both hands and played out more of the wire. The creature stopped. One of her hands reached for her throat, and he nearly dropped his jaw.

It was starting to be too goddamn freaky.

"What’s with you, for Christ’s sake? What’s with the hesitation? You’re acting like you have intelligence, and we both know that can’t be true. You’ve been dead now for, what? A few days at the most. Not more than a week. You’re fresh. I gotta hand you that, but your brain’s been rotting inside your skull all that time. There’s no way you could be thinking, much less anticipating me."

He took another step, and this time the girl took a step backwards.

"Fuck!"

Enough of this bullshit, Shales! Get her!

Determined to end this imaginary stalemate, Byron strode over and slipped the noose over the thing’s head, pulling it tight as he gripped the end of the pole.

She didn’t struggle.

She didn’t howl.

She didn’t fight him or the noose.

Byron stared in shock at the creature. He had been hunting zombies for nearly four years, and nothing had prepared him for this. No other undead had acted this way, and those dead things were as predictable as night and day.

He tugged on the pole. The creature didn’t react one way or another. Byron frowned. Maybe her attack button was missing. That, or she never had one. Or it had rotted away.

Something flashed at the corner of his eye. The setting sun reflected off something like a window in the distance. The distraction reminded him he was wasting time. Plus it was a good three miles to the compound if he wanted to get there before the gates were closed for the night.

Pulling on the pole, he watched as the girl reluctantly took a step forward. Then another. Gradually, she followed him outside and to the truck. The entire time her hands remained dangling by her sides.

Once they reached the pickup, he debated whether to slam her up against the board of nails so he could cuff her. To his shock, he saw the creature’s eyes look over at the thirteen-by-seventeen piece of wood attached to the side of the vehicle before she glanced up at him. Warning bells were going off in his head, but at that moment he was totally dumbfounded.

"Shit. Don’t tell me you don’t want to be pinned. Is that it?"

Christ, why was he even asking her? She was dead! She had no brain function anymore. Therefore she couldn’t think, and she damn sure couldn’t be dreading what was about to happen to her! She was already dead, for fuck’s sake! What could be worse?

"Fuck this," he muttered, dragging her to the tailgate. He grabbed a pair of cuffs out of the toolbox and jammed the end of the snare pole underneath the ramp. "All right, girlie. Let’s see if you fight me now."

CODE 30 Has Been Reviewed by Manic Readers!

Alexis Hembree is a cop. She and her partner may beat the bad guys, but they are also fighting against something far more dangerous. Evil is attracted to them, and no matter where they seem to go, it follows close on their heels.


303 Lexington St. isn’t your average house, no; it is something much, much more. Used as a crack house, criminals come and go, but more times than not, who enters 303 Lexington St. typically doesn’t leave.

There are things in the world that just can’t be explained. But when those supernatural creatures present themselves to Alexis, she must fight them with everything she has. Although some cops may fight your average run of the mill criminals, Lexie fights something much more deadly, and a whole lot scarier.

What can I say about Code 30? The better question is what can’t I say?! This story is set in first person, Alexis (Lexi) Hembree being our narrator. The story was well over a hundred pages, and so worth the read. Lexi is a tough cop that doesn’t take crap from anyone. The house on Lexington St. isn’t your average house. Couple a frightening building, with a woman who has strength and courage, and you have yourself a scene that will knock your socks off…literally.

This is definitely a horror story, for sure, and if you are squeamish I would suggest not reading this. But if you want a story that is frighteningly authentic and will make you remember the details long after the light has been turned off, then I would suggest this story. Below are a few quotes from Code 30 that I found particularly horrifying and descriptive.

“Two bodies completely dismantled, yet their hands were as clean and pristine as if they’d just washed them. Their bodies hacked almost in half, yet there was no evidence of who had done in whom.”

“She was there as I had known she would be. The ice picks glittered in the light. Blood dripped off the tips of her toes, forming a puddle of reddish-brown gore on the dirt-packed floor.”

There were twists and turns, and situations I didn’t see coming. The horror in this story was spine tingling. I can’t even begin to explain how Ms. Mooney described so well and so fluidly the acts and deprivations that occurred. There was sadness in this story, but don’t get me wrong, this was 100% horror city.

Well done Ms. Mooney, I hope every horror fans takes a look at Code 30 because it is so worth it!

~ Reviewed by Claudia, Manic Readers

In Honor of Shark Week

You can find more weird madness like this over at Mondo.

Monday Movie Review - SALVAGE

A divorced father drops his daughter off with her mother, who lives near the English coast.  Once the daughter arrives, she finds her mother entertaining a male friend, and storms off to a friend's house.  The mother tries to go after the daughter to make amends, and all hell breaks loose. 

Literally.

Armed men show up and begin blowing away people like they're carnival targets.  Only later do we find out what's causing people to go berserk and kill, but by that time I was so engrossed in trying to figure it out for myself that I could care less.  Best of all, I didn't see the ending coming.

Folks, this is one well-written, well-acted, well-directed, and well-made film.  The only trouble I had with it were the few times I was trying to make out what the actors were saying with those English accents.
My whole-hearted recommendation: