A Pause to Genuflect

Vamplets

Awww, how cute! I want one!

You can check them out for yourself at their website here.

Italian embanned commercialem featuring Freddy Krueger

This is too funny. Check out how Freddy Krueger eats snack foods.

Monday Movie Review - ZOMBIES OF MASS DESTRUCTION

"A Political Zomedy"

This movie is another one of the films selected for the After Dark Horrorfest IV, and although it tries to stay very tongue-in-cheek, I was undecided whether to take it wholly serious, or wholly for fun.

First off, the film is riddled with Iranian/Iraqi and gay jokes.  Maybe that's the "in" thing right now, but I was wondering how viewers would see it ten years or so down the road.

The film is one of those "the military is doing illegal experiments on a little town without the inhabitants knowing about it."  I'm sorry, but that scenario is quickly growing stale.  The town itself is a real place up in Washington state, and it's a beautiful little Norman Rockwell village. 

The blood effects are super cool, I must admit.  The acting is tolerable.  But instead of watching it play out with baited breath, I found myself leafing through the latest Fangoria magazine while it continued on in the background.

If you want to see a terrific "zomedy", go rent ZOMBIELAND or SHAWN OF THE DEAD.  As for this movie, my recommendation is to

E I E I O is Now Available on OmniLit!

If you have an OmniLit or ARe account, you can now get it here.

Thanks!

Everyone Needs a Zombie How-To Manual

Created in conjunction with Romero's movie Survival of the Dead, you can now download the PDF of this hilarious 8-page manual for free right here!

Monday Movie Review - DEADLANDS 2: TRAPPED

You can tell a lot of heart and soul went into this independent feature.  But there were times I wanted to reach into the screen and file down some of the really rough edges.

According to Netflix:  A top-secret U.S. government agency stages a biological weapons exercise in a Maryland town with horrific results:  The toxic gas that's released turns all who breathe it into zombies, who then set about infecting the rest of the town.  Finaly,only six residents are left standing, holed up together in a movie theater preparing to make a last stand against the undead.  Gary Ugarek follows up his earlier gore epic Deadlands: The Rising.

At one point, the government head honcho calls up the hapless kids trapped inside and does the "neener neener" at them.  I wished at that moment for a good strong thunderstorm to backtrack some of that toxic gas to the military officials who were responsible for this atrocity in the first place.

While the special effects are great, and the plot is solid, some of the actors needed a more tempered hand.  One of the main heroes had just one vocal inflection - yelling, and after a while it started to rub on the nerves.  The F-bomb is dropped in nearly every other sentence, and in one case while a heroine is screaming the FU at a bunch of zombies, I got the impression she felt very uncomfortable doing it.  Additionally, the sound quality was touch and go.  I could barely hear what the lap dancer said, but the screaming totally overloaded the microphones.

There are some other noticeable inconsistancies.  Some zombies shuffled and stumbled and moved about like traditional Romero zombies.  Others were so fast on their feet, they should have been Olympic sprinters.  You saw zombies using the stairs (some even glanced down to make sure they didn't trip and fall), but zombies can't climb ladders?

If you've seen MIDNIGHT MOVIE, about teenagers trapped inside a movie theater, then this is pretty much the same flick, but with zombies instead of a serial killer.  But despite its raw, construction paper quality, it's actually not a bad little Saturday afternoon no-brainer.

My recommendation?

 

Zombie Pizza!

Discovered this app by accident.  If you have an iPhone, there's a free version you can check out before deciding if you want to dole out the $1.99 for the full version. 

Here's the blurb for it:

The sun has gone down and it’s up to you to feed a hoard of organ-hungry Zombies. This horror puzzle will have you racing to assemble pizzas topped with eyeballs, guts, and brains. As the organs whiz by on a conveyor belt, you must master grotesque recipes like The Gut Buster and The Stink Eye. But keep an eye on the Zombie Rage meter. When it reaches the top, the ravenous Zombies will come crashing through the door.

How about a Sexy Zombie Car Wash?

"Fashion Freak"
Performed by Naked Ape

Best part is the zombie chihuahua.

Come Listen and WIN!

Tonight on Other Worlds of Romance at Blog Talk Radio, I will be reading an excerpt from my newest release, CODE 30, a paranormal horror novella, and giving away a free copy to one lucky listener!

Show begins at 11:00 pm est! Don't miss it!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/other_worlds_of_romance

Happy Mother's Day!

Awww, they're so cute at this age!

What REALLY Creates Zombies

I love zombies, no matter what.

See more at ROFLRAZZI.com

Just the Thing for That Boo Boo

You can get them here.

Monday Movie Review - THE GRAVES

Was this movie shot in 3D?  Because every time there's a blood letting scene, the stuff spurts upward and outward toward the screen.  However, the effect looks better on the final credits.

THE GRAVES is one of the After Dark Films for Horrorfest 4.  In it, two sisters (named Graves, hence the title) are out for one final fling in the form of a road trip.  They find a deserted mining town, and decide to do the self tour.  Only problem is, there's a cult of demon worshippers who pick off the tourists to appease their "god".

The acting isn't half bad.  The sisters have a very noticable and undeniable chemistry - these two would be great to cast together again in another flick, IMO.  But the whole movie falls flat for me.  You never see the demon, only hear him, but the rest of the effects are good.  Best one is the poor schmuck tied with barbed wire and hanging upside down, but he's all of two seconds in the film that otherwise took me a whole day to finally finish (boredom made me stop and re-start it several times.)

My recommendation: 

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

I ran across this book at the bookstore the other day, and immediately claimed the e-version for my iPhone.  From the author of PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES, it's a rousing "true" tale of our sixteenth president.

Check out more info here, and go watch the trailer on YouTube here!