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New Contract! E I E I O

Coming Soon!

E I E I O

by Gail Smith

From Red Rose Publishing

Old MacDonald had a farm,
E I E I O
And on this farm he had some pigs
E I E I O
With a hack hack here, and a chop chop there,
Here a shriek, there a scream
Everywhere the blood streams...
Old MacDonald had a farm,
E I E I O

Dear Gail - Are there any movies or books you won't review?

Dear Gail,

Are there any movies or books that are so bad, you won't review them?

Yes, there have been, but maybe not for any reasons you might think of at first.

Horror is entertainment. That's it purpose - to shock and titillate us, because our reaction sends a physical reaction throughout our bodies which we like.

But there are times I'll get a movie or a book that so totally grosses me out, either morally or physically, that either I can't finish it, or if I do, there's no way I'll write a review about it. I sometimes even have nightmares about it. Not good, people, not good. That's not what horror should do, in my opinion. It should scare the shit out of you. Or send willies down your back. But it should never make you physically ill.

Retrospective - After Dark Horrorfest I

After hearing the news that After Dark Horrorfest will continue at least one more year, I thought I would go back and see if I'd seen everything this venture had offered in the past. And if there was a movie or two I'd missed, there was my nifty little Netflick account I could utilize.

After Dark Horrorfest, 8 Films to Die For, was, in my opinion, a brilliant marketing strategy. Take eight independently made films that didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of making it to the big theatrical screen, and present them in a series of late-night and midnight showings in selected theaters in a nation-wide filmfest. Afterwards, release each film on DVD.

Boy, wouldn't you have loved to have been on the panel of judges who had to watch every entry and pick the final eight?

Considering I've seen every film offered in Series I, let me offer you my take and recommendation of each. If you've seen these movies and agree or disagree with me, please chime in!

1. THE ABANDONED
An American woman searching for her birth parents learns she has inherited a house in the middle of a forest in a remote area of Russia.

Rent it! That was one damn spooky house.

2. UNREST
A med student collapses upon sensing a "presence" about her cadaver. Her fears are strengthened by a mysterious death. She must find out the truth behind before its angered spirit can wreak further vengeance.

Rent it! I'll never forget the "tank" scenes.

3. PENNY DREADFUL
Young Penny goes on a retreat with her psychologist. The intention is to help her overcome her phobia of cars. But events find her in a nightmarish situation where her worst fears come true.

Skip it. Very slow and not that scary, IMHO.

4. THE GRAVEDANCERS
A group of friends' lives are invaded by a trio of hostile ghosts after they engage in a drunken bout of gravedancing during a wake for an old chum.

Skip it. Terrific premise, but it didn't pan out to be as horrific as I thought it would be.

5. THE HAMILTONS
A picture-perfect American family is always kind, loving and respectful to their neighbors… except that they usually wind up killing them.

Rent it! It has a fresh new "twist" on an old concept.

6. REINCARNATION (RINNE)
From the director of "The Grudge" and "The Grudge 2" comes a suspenseful psychological horror film that deals with the topic of reincarnation.

Skip it. Too many slow scenes.

7. DARK RIDE
Ten years after he brutally murdered two girls, a killer escapes from a mental institution and returns to his turf, the theme park attraction called "Dark Ride".

Skip it. Unless you'd like to see another typical mentally-insane-serial-killer-stalks-teenagers-who-invade-his-space movie.

8. WICKED LITTLE THINGS
Recently widowed Karen Tunny and her two daughters, Sarah and Emma, move to a remote mountain home which Karen has inherited from the family of her late husband.

Rent it. Contains a couple of nice surprises.

Exclusive from ICONS OF FRIGHT - The Original GRACE Short Film

ICONS EXCLUSIVE: The Original GRACE Short Film - WITH & Without Commentary!

Now see the short film that led to the full-length feature!

If you've been curious about this flick as much as I have, this short 8 minute version will whet your appetite!

http://iconsoffright.com/news/2009/09/icons_exclusive_the_original_g.html

Marvel Comics - ZOMBIES!

Why hasn't anyone turned me on to this MARVELous goodness?
For more info, check out the website!

68 Must-See Sci-Fi Sights Around the U.S.

68 must-see sci-fi sights around the U.S.

http://scifiwire.com/2009/08/sci-fi-road-trips.php

So. Cool!

I'm especially interested in doing the Texas Chain Saw Massacre film locations tour, considering I'm just a couple of hours away from Austin.

Road trip, anyone?

Movie Review - THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT

This might turn out to be a bit lengthy, so please bear with me. I've decided not so much to review the films, but to compare them as well.

Quick spoiler-less recap: A family living out in the middle of nowhere has a daughter, Mari. Mari and her girlfriend decide to have a little fun, and meet up with a strange boy who promises he has some maryjane to share.

The girls go with him to his motel room where they meet the boy's father/uncle/guardians. At that point, the girls' lives become expendable at the playful delight of the strangers.

Inevitably, after disposing of the girls' bodies in the nearby woods, the strangers end up going to the nearest house to beg for food, and maybe to see what nastiness they can get away with. That house is where Mari lived with her parents.

At some point during their stay, the parents find out these people are responsible for their daughter's disappearance. That's when they take the law into their own hands, and the strangers suffer a fate worse than the one they gave Mari and her friend.

The original LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, written and directed by Wes Craven, is a sick film. Sick. Depraved. Disgusting. Horrifying. Nauseating. What's worse, the main protagonists are unforgiveable.

These people laugh and taunt the girls as they continue to torture and rape their victims. They're soulless.

But the way the parents turn on the killers in the WC version is worse than it is depicted in the 2009 version.

The mother's way of getting her revenge is far more disgusting, in my opinion. I far liked the mother's revenge in the remake.

Although both films are essentially the same (no "re-imagining" here, folks, since Craven helped to produce the new version!), there are significant differences between the two. In trying to be spoiler-less, some of my explanations following

may seem strange, so please forgive me.

* The house's "purpose" is different in the 2009 film. This change is crutial in a plot point at the end of the movie.

* The "lake" in version 1 is really a pond, whereas in version 2, it's actually a full-sized lake. Also a crutial plot point.

* Mari and her friend have different plans between the two films.

* The young boy who led Mari and her friend to the motel has a different outcome.

* Mari's necklace in the remake is more believable as a clue. In the Craven version, I kept thinking, "But what if the kid had one like it?" No mistaking that in the 2009 film.

* Mari's final outcome.

* The deaths are different, especially the strangers'

While I openly admit that I didn't originally like the first version of the film, upon a second and third viewing, I still don't like it. Not because of the way it was filmed, but that the actors were so damned good, their actions made me sick.

I truly enjoyed the 2009 version. The performances were top-notched and more subtle, and effective. But the subject matter and exposition were better handled (for lack of a better explanation). I also liked the ending to version 2 a lot better.


My recommendation?

Get both versions and do your own comparison.

(It would terrific if the two came in a boxed set!)

New! CANCELLATION

Beware of what might happen
if you get behind
on your credit card payments.

You can purchase it here!

Need a Chupacabra? Seems We Have Plenty!

According to Mexican folklore, a chupacabra is a "goat sucker". It's an animal much like a wolf or coyote that's known to attack not just goats, but young calves and horses, chickens, sheep... anything.

But the creatures have been considered to be mythical beasts, mainly because no actual chupacabras have been found or caught.

Supposedly...

A couple of years ago a chupacabra was "found", and the body sent to UT for DNA analysis. It was determined to be part coyote, and again the chupacabra myth was "debunked".

Now, a few DAYS ago, this grayish creature (3rd photo) was killed near Victoria where I live.

Soon after, the following newspaper article was released.

http://www.victoriaadvocate.com/news/2009/sep/02/sl_chupacabra_090309_64436/

It seems the chupacabra is either becoming more prolific, or the development of new subdivisions and businesses are encroaching upon the creature's natural habitat, forcing the animal to venture forth and be discovered.

Or maybe not...

Movie Review - DEAD WOOD

The moment this movie began to play, I quickly checked the label. Yep, it was filmed in 2007. You could have fooled me.

How shall I describe this film? Wes Craven does Evil Dead? With a little Blair Witch thrown in for good measure?

Taking place in the English countryside, two couples go camping one weekend. One morning they wake up to find a strange woman cooking over their campfire. She tells them she's lost, that she's missing her boyfriend, and she's hungry. She also tells them she thinks the woods are haunted, and that may have had something to do with her boyfriend's disappearance.

The actors are virtual unknowns, but they do a decent job with the script. The bloodshed is minimal, if any, as the film relies heavily on the unexpected scares and psychological horror aspects (hence my Blair Witch reference.) I must say, though, that the few CGI effects are pretty cool.

Unfortunately, there's only so much run-through-the forest-screaming I could take before boredom set in. Plus the ending, in my opinion, was somewhat predictable.

My recommendation?

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