More Horror 4 Sale!

More Horror Magazines 4 Sale!

Remember, they're just $3 each, and that includes postage.

To see bigger covers, and what each issue includes, click here.

Movie Review - ONE-EYED MONSTER

The tagline reads "If you see it coming, you're already dead."

Look at the poster. What do you think this movie's about?
Something coming for you from the woods?
Something that lives in that creepy old shack?
Something that came from outer space?
Ghosts?

Well, guess what? It's none of those things...sort of.

ONE-EYED MONSTER is a black comedy. A horror movie that pokes fun in a sort of "Shawn of the Dead" sort of way. You'd never guess it by looking at the poster.

Now, I liked "Shawn of the Dead" and "Army of Darkness". This movie, however, takes black humor horror to a whole new level.

In a nutshell (no pun intended), the "monster" in question is the "major attribute" of Ron Jeremy, who had been a major porn star of the 60s. The story revolves around a small group of people who go up into the mountains to a cabin, wherein they shoot a porn movie. That's where Mr. Jeremy's member becomes "possessed" and starts killing people.

Amber Benson (Tara, Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series) stars as a makeup girl and major character.

There are humorous moments, but all in all it wilted for me (pun intended). However, you never know -- high school and college frat boys might push it to cult status.

My recommendation:

Gruesome Giggles

ROFL! You gotta love LOLCats! Click here to sign up for their daily email of wonderfully wicked humor.

Dear Gail - Where Are Your Other Books?

Dear Gail,

Didn't you have two more books published?

Hello! Yes, I did, but my contract was up with them, so I got my rights back. I'm in the process of revamping them so I can submit them to a different publisher.

Thank your for noticing they were no longer listed on my blog, my website, or my myspace!

Movie Review - PERKINS 14

I rented this movie because it was an After Dark Film, and one of the HORRORFEST III entries. However, I soon found out that the description on my Netflick site didn't quite "fit" the movie that *I* saw.

In short, here's what Netflicks says:

Unbalanced by the brutal murder of his parents, Robert Perkins (Richard Brake) kidnaps 14 people from a nearby town and brainwashes them into serving as his band of psychotic bodyguards -- who'll stop at nothing to protect their master. When Perkins's antics land him behind bars, the "Perkins 14" snap and unleash a horrifying reign of terror on the people of Stone Cove.

Uhh, that's not quite exactly how I saw the movie. But it didn't stop my total enjoyment of this film.

SPOILER FREE ZONE

The movie itself is not so much about Perkins. In fact, it centers around one of the town's officers, Hopper (Patrick O'Kane).

Hopper's son Kyle was the 14th kidnapped victim by Perkins, and the incident opens the film. Jump to 10 years later. Hopper is still guilt-ridden over the loss of his son. His daughter has grown up, and his wife has grown apart.



Until one night he pulls over Perkins, a local pharmacist. When clues start to gel, Hopper starts to believe Perkins might be the serial killer responsible for kidnapping those 14 children a decade ago.

With the help of his friend and fellow officer, Hopper takes it upon himself to check out the man's background, his alibis, and eventually his home.

It is there the truth about the 14 kidnapped victims come to terrifying light. Hopper then finds himself in a race to protect his family, while coming to grips with this new reality.

The storyline is edgy and different, and the acting is great. Although there were a couple of places where you could foresee certain events coming, there were several shocks and sheer surprises... especially the ending.

My recommendation:

Lobster Horror Movies

Jeff Pert is a Maine native. I came across his wicked sense of humor while on vacation in that GORgeous state. Check out his other stuff here.

Remember, Summer is for Playing on the Beach...

...and making anything your bleeding little heart desires.

This, folks, is actually a miniature golf course!

The Ultimate Horror Musical

I LOVE THIS MUSICAL!

Okay. Now that I've got that off my chest... LOL!

Premise:

Nerdy Seymour works at a florist shop in the slums of New York, ie. Skid Row. Seymour secretly loves Audrey, who also works at the florist shop. But Audrey is dating a masochistic dentist.



One day, during a "total eclipse of the sun", Seymour comes across a type of plant he's never seen before. Curious, he takes the plant back to his little hole in the wall under the shop where he lives. It's there he discovers that his plant is rather bloodthirsty.

As he feeds his plant (named Audrey II in honor of the girl he loves), the plant grows to the point where he has to move it upstairs into the shop. There, the plant attracts a ton of attention from the media. And Seymour soon finds himself a celebrity.

But Audrey II is no longer satisfied with ground round or chuck steak, which Seymour soon discovers when his plant starts eating people. At first Seymour is horrified. To make matters worse, Audrey II begins to TALK to him, demanding that Seymour "Feed Me!"

Meanwhile, Seymour watches as his true love is treated despicably by the dentist. Seymour inevitably turns the dentist into plant food, and he wins Audrey's affection. Unfortunately, Audrey II is now bigger than a Sherman tank, and demanding more.

I won't tell you how the movie/musical ends, but if you love do-wop music that finds you singing along, you're going to have a blast! The best version, in my opinion, is the one starring Rick Moranis (of Ghostbusters and Honey, I Shrunk the Kids fame). It also stars Steve Martin as the deranged dentist, with cameos by John Candy, James Belushi, and Bill Murray.

There is an earlier, non-musical version starring a very young Jack Nicholson. It's interesting to watch the two and compare.

My verdict?

AND GET THE SOUNDTRACK, TOO!

EENIE MEENIE is Out!

Now Available!

EENIE MEENIE

A delightfully horrifying tidbit
by Gail Smith
(Linda Mooney writing horror as)
Just $.99
From Red Rose Publishing!

* * *
Something lives in the big black plastic garbage bag. Something that isn't human. Something that depends on the goodwill of others to provide it with food. Fortunately, it's not particular if its meal is dead, long dead... or alive.

* And don't forget! If you email me the receipt or proof of purchase, I will send you a second little horror story Absolutely Free as a Thank You gift!

It's a BOGO!!

Yes! You heard right!

Thursday, June 11th, my short horror story EENIE MEENIE will be released at Red Rose Publishing. If you buy my story and send me the receipt or proof of purchase, I will send you a Second little horror story Absolutely Free!

Email it to Linda@LindaMooney.com and put BOGO in the subject.

How can you go wrong?

My 2 Cents... Based on a True Story

I automatically have a reaction whenever I see these 5 words fade onto the screen.

Based on a true story? What part? Better yet, what story?

Consider the actual story of Ed Gein. Kinda hard to believe that Hitchcock's Psycho and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre were both based on this same true story!

In too many cases, BOATS movies usually take a tee-niney portion of the actual incident, and manage to blow it up into a rendition that in no shape or form represents its origin.

Still, whenever this phrase comes onscreen, whether at the beginning of the movie, at the end of the movie, or somewhere in an article featuring the writer/director/actor, I have to use a very large five-pound bag of salt in order to believe them, much less swallow their claim.

I've found it's a lot easier to think the story was plucked from thin air and elaborated on. Otherwise I lose a great opportunity to enjoy the movie because I'm wracking my feeble brain trying to figure out where the idea for it came from.

Movie Review - BLINDNESS

Rarely has a movie horrified me when there was hardly a drop of blood spilled. But BLINDNESS doesn't go for the vernacular - it goes for the brain.

First off, it was by pure luck that I heard of this little independent feature. Odd that it hasn't met a bigger audience, considering its list of actors: Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Danny Glover, and Alice Braga. It's based on the international best-seller by Jose Saramago.

As promised, here's a spoiler-free synopsis. Moore is the wife of Ruffalo, who is an eye doctor. Ruffalo treats a man who says he's gone blind, but instead of "dark" blindness, it's a form of "milky white" blindness.

This form is contageous, and soon the military are rounding up all the affected, including Ruffalo and Moore -- except Moore isn't really blind. She only tells the men she's blind so she can stay with her husband.

They're all taken to an abandoned mental hospital and literally dumped there to fend for themselves, with no nurses or doctors or even an attendant to help the newly blind. As more people are abandoned there, the hospital quickly becomes a microcosm of dog-eat-dog, may the strongest survive. The slow disintegration of humanity into the kind of filth and degredation that quickly rots inside the hospital is hard to watch, it's so realistic. And we get to witness it all through Moore's character's eyes, as she is the only person untouched by the blindness plague.

I will say that the movie has an upbeat ending, believe it or not. Still, I will be forever haunted by certain scenes. Be forewarned there is extreme brutality, including rape, and a lot of nudity.

BLINDNESS is not a movie about serial killers, zombies, or anything fantasy-driven. It is an apocalyptic scenario that could very well happen, and for that reason it's going to strike a chord in you that most horror movies fail to touch.

My recommendation:

Every Home Should Have This Hanging On The Wall...Right?